Dear reader(s),
I hope you find the following semi-entertaining. It was an irrelevant event but in light of recent terrible events I thought someone might find it to be somewhat worthy of a read.
My whole life I have been looking not-so hard for the coldest, darkest, most depressing place on planet earth. I finally found it, and the place is called Safeco Field. It was a cold, damp and rainy friday night in late May 2010 when most folks were just starting to realize that we were watching what was inevitably going to end up being a 100+ loss season. As the 7th inning arrived there were few thoughts running through my head. They included:
"the second that guy takes his eye off his hot dog I'm snatching that sob"
"ignore the voices telling you to push that drunken red sox fan off the balcony to his merciful death"
"should I eat those abandoned french fries over there?"
and
"I cannot wait to get home so I can go back to sleep"
My commute home took a turn for the worse as my "captain" showed up and told me I had wheelchair duty after the game was over. My captain was an older guy, not in the mood for jokes or any childish behavior, so I accepted my assignment muttering only a quick and fearful "yessir". Wheelchair duty was a common and simple task most games. It consisted of getting a cheelchair, finding the fan in need and taking him to his car in the parking garage. On this day it was different. I looked at my slip of paper and noticed something unusual as it said "has own chair" and it did not indicate what level of the parking garage I was to take them to. I decided that was a bonus since that meant I didn't have to get a chair myself. After the game I found my fan and his wife. Right away I knew I was in trouble since I was feeling weak and helpless noticing the size of this guy. I'm not trying to be out of line here in any way but he had his own chair because he was a large dude. Obese to the tune of what had to be in the 400 lb range. i forced myself over to introduce myself and had a thirty second conversation with them that was completely one-sided since the icing on the cake was their apparent mental incapacitation. I did not understand one word either of them said while I talked to them:
me: "Hi there are you Tim (name changed to protect the not-so innocent)"
fan: "(unintelligible garble)...Tim"
me: "Okay I'll be your wheelchair guy after the game is over"
fan: "(unintelligible mumbling...garble...)"
me: "(pointing at the lady with him) are you together?"
lady with fan: "(mumble...drool)...wife"
The game ended and I grabbed Tim and we headed down the elevator to the skybridge that leads from the stadium to the parking garage. I still had no idea where we were going and there was no progress in our efforts to communicate. Finally they pointed to ground level where the buses were and I decided they must be taking the bus, meaning we had to go down the parking garage elevator. This was not good news since the game had just ended and the elevator was packed. The elevator arrived and the doors opened, I was afraid to look up but there was plenty of room for us so I made my move pushing the wheelchair with all my might onto the elevator. Still afraid to look up I saw a tall guy and a shorter older guy standing there in suits. I realized that the tall guy was Mike Blowers and the shorter older guy was Dave Niehaus. Never having met Dave Niehaus before I was clearly excited, but perplexed. I stammered through something about being honored to meet a true legend as I shook Niehaus's hand I looked him in the eye. Dave didn't crack a smile but was polite as I introduced the two handicapped fans I had with me. They didn't know who Dave Niehaus was but I explained:
fan: "(drool, mumble)...announcer?"
me: "That's Hall of FAME announcer!"
fan: "(confused look) (drool)"
Dave Niehaus: "(finally cracking a bit of a smile)
As we got off the elevator I realized that Dave Niehaus doesn't even have a parking spot in the secure private lot. I was instantly insulted by the fact that he had to ride the filthy urine soaked public elevator with the rest of us peasants. Maybe I'm wrong but that is just disrespecting Dave Niehaus. Get this man a private parking spot!. I uneventfully dropped the handicapped people at the bus stop for the special van and went on my way.
The point of this is to say that was the only time I met Dave Niehaus. I never thought too much about telling the story since it was pretty insignificant and unfortunately happened on one of the top ten worst days of my life. However, it is my only way of paying my respects to Niehaus. My first memory of him was listening to him on the radio in 1981 announcing a 6-0 game in the bottom of the 9th with 2 outs. Down six runs there was no hope of the M's winning, but Dave made it sound like the World Series as Jeff Burroughs and Richie Zisk hit back to back solo homers to seal the 6-2 defeat. I had my tape recorder running and listened to him announce those homers probably a hundred times played back. It made me a fan for life. Rest in peace Dave. The world is that much more unbearable without you in it. I'm honored to have met you one time. We will all miss you that much more on opening day when we turn on our radios and your voice is not there. Just sayin'. Screw Dave Sims. It's gonna be a long 2011 season.
Shawn
